


Make it right

by Starb_uck



Series: Redemption [2]
Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: F/F, self indulgent canon-fixing fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-10-20 08:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10658322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starb_uck/pseuds/Starb_uck
Summary: "I know why you're here, Helena. Let me help you. Please.."A sob broke from Cain's throat. "Damn you.." she gasped, her voice stricken. "Damn you for making me feel like this..""Come here, Helena. Come to me.."





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another fluff interlude, not at all like my usual work. By the end, the saccharine content will dissolve your little fangs..
> 
> Following on from CFA, according to my muse Cain apparently hadn't yet bumped her gums enough, and still had more to say. So here it is. Also because Gina and the show deserved better. 
> 
> In this slightly canon-divergent AU, none of the horrible stuff Cain ordered/ authorised actually happened - she relented before things went that far. Therefore her redemption and future happiness are still believable and possible.

Cain stood outside the entrance to Gina's cell. The reinforced glass was the same, but this wasn't the same cell she'd had the Cylon thrown into for the first few days following her unexpected and premature unveiling. This one had the standard basic amenities, even things that, considering they were being granted to a Cylon spy, smacked more of luxury items. Certainly, if she'd thought about it at all, the Cylon would probably not have expected to be gifted with soap, with blankets, with toilet paper. 

Gina was aware of her, Cain knew, but after one fleeting glance, the Cylon had turned its head and now stared fixedly at the far wall of the cell. Cain didn't know if the reaction stemmed from defiance, or pride, or fear, but she fully intended to find out. She gave the order to the marine beside her, and the boy moved smartly to begin the unlocking sequence. 

Gina's eyes cut momentarily to the door, and Cain watched an almost imperceptible shiver run though her. *Good. Still with us, then...

Both marines sprang to the sides to form an impromptu honour guard for her, saluting smartly as she moved to enter the cell. She returned their gesture with a salute of her own, smiling slightly. She approved of discipline, of respect. It was how a Battlestar was meant to be run, couldn't be run without it. Some old fools would do well to remember that. 

The smell was noticeably absent. She hadn't experienced it herself, but Kendra had told her, nose curling in distaste, that after three days in the extreme detention cell, the Cylon had cried. Not from torture, and certainly not from gang-rape - Cain wouldn't countenance that on her ship, not under any circumstances, despite what the gossip mills had to say on the subject. Legitimate interrogation in a time of war, a war in which they were the wronged party, now that was a different matter altogether. 

Cain had listened, wondering, as Kendra went on to explain the reasons for the Cylon's tears. *She just felt grubby, sir. "Scuzzy", is the word she used. Said she couldn't stand not being able to change her underwear. And that the smell from the floor drain was making her sick...

*She just wanted to be clean.. Cain's thoughts rolled on as she watched the blonde prisoner on the low cot, leaning against the wall, hands folded in her lap. 

"Leave us". Cain spoke quietly but with determination. The two marines, (both of whom looked about twelve to her, and she briefly wondered when they'd begun recruiting infants into the Colonial Fleet), saluted once more and backed out respectfully. As the door closed, and Gina recognised that she was once more alone with her former lover, the current highest-ranking Colonial officer in the entire human race, and the person she had overwhelmingly and completely betrayed, she began to shiver harder. Her knees drew up protectively, and she began to rock gently, forwards and backwards, eyes cast downwards. Her hands remained clasped in her lap. 

Cain thought suddenly of a fourth option for that rejection of eye contact. *Shame.

She stood, just inside the door, and watched the Cylon. It was thin; weeks on prison rations had pared its already sparse form to a state in which its bones stood out in angular marching ranks beneath her skin. It was pale, but then they were all pale, now - natural light and sunshine were things of dreams. Of history. 

***

Gina didn't stop her rocking: back and forth, back and forth... A bruise blossomed on her right cheekbone, and Cain could see wrapping on her elbows. Kendra had been in charge of her interrogations - Cain had wanted nothing to do with it, with her, since the mad moment the Colonies had fallen and taken her universe with it. In the crazy mad time since that moment, since her entire world both figuratively and mentally had fallen apart, she'd felt entirely unhinged, unable even to contemplate doing her duty, which was of course to obtain every last scrap of intelligence she could glean from the traitor sitting before her on the cot. 

And then Starbuck had happened. Her little wayward pilot. What she'd thought of as a much-needed discipline programme, something both to amuse her, physically satisfy her urges and to fill the void left by her duplicitous bitch of a lover, had had entirely unexpected consequences. Sure, the programme had worked - Cain's programmes always worked - but the ballsy blonde pilot had succeeded in forcing her to think about Gina once more. Starbuck had, by sheer physical proximity and intimacy, seen the need and the loss that Cain kept battened firmly down with a covering of strength and ruthlessness. She'd ground the Admiral down and made her admit, against her best wishes, the depths of her feelings for the Cylon before her now, and why those feelings had made her do the things that she had done. 

Starbuck was off her programme now, returned to the rank of Captain and presumably joyously bullying the pilots of Galactica into further heights of mayhem and glory. Cain almost smiled to think of her; bit down on the impulse. This wasn't the time or the place to think of that. She looked instead at the vision before her - a far cry from the confident engineer who'd once impressed her so greatly with her calm competence. The Cylon was still shaking slightly, her eyes now lowered. Cain spoke at last. 

"Why, Gina?"

***

The Cylon stopped moving immediately. She froze, staring straight ahead of her. She licked her lips. 

"I.. I don't know how to answer that..."

"Try".

***

They were through the background, now. Gina had been selected for the mission; just one of hundreds of Cylon operatives assigned to the Battlestars, tasked with installing the back doors in the security systems to enable the systems to accept the virus. She'd expected either to die when Pegasus was destroyed; or, if not, to be summarily executed once her subterfuge became known. She hadn't expected this. 

"Okay. I get that part, even if, obviously, I don't agree with it. What I really want to know is why your kind think they have the right to sit in judgement over humanity. Why do you think you have the right to decide if we live or die?"

Gina still stared straight ahead. She shifted slightly, and Cain saw a grimace of discomfort cross her perfect features. 

"The decision was made. We.. we were all in agreement that it was the only way, the only way to be sure that all of this would never happen again..."

Cain stared down at her, lip curling, fighting the urge to drag her from the cot and really lay into her. Drag her up by the hair and punch her repeatedly in the face until she bled and wept for mercy. To avoid this course of action, she pivoted abruptly, glaring at the marines through the glass until they obeyed her unspoken demand and hastily unlocked the maximum security cell.


	2. 2

The Admiral was back. She'd formed the pattern of coming to visit Gina in her cell after her official duty shifts were completed. Sometimes she would simply stand the other side of the glass, observing, trying to get her tumultuous thoughts in some kind of order. Increasingly, though, she found herself entering the Cylon's cell, first standing over her, then sitting beside her. Talking to her. 

Gina wrinkled her nose up; tried unsuccessfully to satisfy the itch there by rubbing her face against her shoulder. She wore the waist restraint chain all the time, every hour of every day. Cain had read in Kendra's reports that soon after its capture, the Cylon had begun to run riot, screaming, banging its head repeatedly against the wall, calling out for them to kill her, goddammit, just let her die.. When she started clawing at her own eyes with hooked fingers, Kendra made the call on the restraints. Full Cylon model, at first, until Gina had worn herself out with thrashing and screaming. Then the belt, which Cain was sure she'd seen as an improvement, at first - but of course back then she hadn't known that she'd still be wearing the humiliating thing, so many months later. Wrists cuffed behind her and attached to the back of the chain, at first, but now, after a lengthy period of good behaviour, cuffed instead to the front attachment. 

Cain thought automatically about helping her; reaching out to scratch her nose for her, then pushed the thought away angrily. She watched the stoical Cylon lean forward instead and rub its nose vigorously against its knee. 

*We all adapt.. we all learn little tricks to make life that little bit more bearable...

***

"Why are you here?"

Cain studied her. She felt suddenly weary, bored of all of this. The Cylon would never tell her what she craved to know, she knew that. If she told her anything at all, it would likely be just so much bullshit. So, yeah, good question. Why was she here? She shifted position, rocked back on her heels as Gina spoke again. 

"Lieutenant Shaw is doing an excellent job of conducting my interrogations.." Her voice was without intonation, without irony, and Cain saw her tongue emerge to dab delicately at her recently-split lower lip. 

Cain snorted. "Not that good. You've provided her with some useful intel, but I'm damn sure you haven't told her everything you know. Have you?"

Gina smiled slowly, and Cain itched to slap her. 

"Don't blame her for that, Admiral. A girl's gotta keep some secrets, you know. Also.." She stopped and screwed her face up again. The itch was back. "Also, you won't space me, even if I told you everything you want to know. You know I'd just download. So why should I give you information which would help you destroy more of my people?"

Cain eyed her incredulously. "Because Lieutenant Shaw will continue to work on you until you do?" she offered. "I've today sanctioned some of her more extreme requests.." She let the threat hang in the air for a moment, and was amazed when the Cylon laughed softly. 

"And yet you won't be there to see them put into practice, will you, Admiral? Why is that, I wonder? You want information, but you don't want to see the process of gathering it.. God!!" She broke off suddenly, sawing once again at her nose with her knee. "Take this frakking chain off me, will you, for God's sake!!""

Cain watched her, smiling inside to see the usually unflappable Cylon momentarily lose its cool. "You know I can't do that".

"You're the frakking Admiral! You can do whatever you want!" Gina was beyond frustrated now, pulling at the cuffs attaching her wrists to the waist chain, as if after all this time they would suddenly decide to let her go. 

"Sure. And then you attack me, and provoke the guards into killing you. You die with honour, and wake up on a baseship as a returning hero. Hmmm... Let me think... No??"

"I wouldn't do that, Helena. You have my word". Cain felt the full force of Gina's imploring gaze turned upon her, and turned her head away.

"Don't call me that. And tell precisely what you think your word should be worth to me, after you betrayed this ship and everyone on it?"

Gina's gaze never left her face. "I have never once lied to you, Helena", she said deliberately. "Never. I meant every single word I ever said".

The words had greater meaning than their context, and Cain knew that implicitly. Abruptly she turned, pivoting like the soldier she was, and gestured to the marines through the glass. 

"Wait!!" Gina's voice was piteous behind her, and, gods help her, Cain couldn't help but feel part of her heart respond to it. "Please.."

"What??" Her voice was short, angry, as she whirled once again to face the prisoner. Gina looked up at her pathetically. 

"Scratch my nose? Please?"

***

“You still haven't told me why you're here. Now, after all this time?"

It was three days later. After some thought, Cain had reasoned that the Cylon taboo against suicide would probably be enough to prevent Gina from trying to do herself in, at least now that she wasn't in a state of enraged hysteria. Accordingly, she was manacled by one ankle to the frame of the cot, which was metal and bolted to the deck, but her arms were free. Cain figured that as long as she didn't forget and move forward within range, she was safe enough. Gina didn't look as though she was planning anything sneaky, though. She was sitting on the edge of the cot, alternatively looking at her hands, rubbing them together, and casting grateful glances at Cain. *Loving glances. 

*NO.. Cain pushed this thought away automatically. 

Gina glanced once now at the hatch as the retreating marines pulled it closed, before returning her gaze to Cain. 

"Thank you".

Cain snuffed. "Whatever. Here.." She used a long stick to push a small tray of food within the Cylon's reach. 

Gina looked at her almost pityingly. Her voice was soft. "You don't have to use that Cylon kit on me, Helena. I promised I wasn't going to hurt you, and I meant it. I will never hurt you again". 

Unbelievably, Cain felt the sudden choke of tears - her throat slammed shut and wetness flooded the back of her eyes. She wondered of Gina knew just how badly she *had hurt her, how her betrayal had ripped the heart right out of her. How, even after the very end of the world as she'd known it, things had got worse and worse for her ever since… Belzen. Gods, how she wished she could take *that back. Her XO, her friend, the only person she allowed to treat her almost as an equal. How she had valued his advice and his friendship. She missed him every day, and pushed the thoughts out of her mind the very instant they appeared. Now, more than ever, she missed his counsel - she wished she could ask him about Gina, about what the hell she was going to do with her. 

The civilian ships, the Scylla in particular.. she regretted her actions there too. If she hadn't been feeling so damn angry and betrayed... So that was something else to lay at the Cylon's feet. And all of this didn't come anywhere close to explaining what she was doing here now. She wasn't getting any pleasure from the experience, that was for damn sure. Seeing the Cylon subjugated, a bound prisoner, knowing it was being subjected to regular interrogations under her express orders.. None of it brought the satisfaction, the release she'd been hoping for so desperately. If anything, she found these sessions gruelling, draining..

The Cylon seemed to read her mind. Her voice was gentle, soothing, so full of love.. just like it had always been in the depths of the night when she woke screaming after yet another nightmare. Gina would talk to her, muttering nonsense words, tell her made up stories, the words themselves unimportant, the cadence of her voice the only thing that mattered. She used to draw her in close, rub her hands over her arms, her back, over and over again, hold her so, so close and promise that she would never, ever, let her go. 

"I know why you're here, Helena. Let me help you. Please.."

A sob broke from Cain's throat. "Damn you.." she gasped, her voice stricken. "Damn you for making me feel like this.."

"Come here, Helena. Come to me.."

She let the Cylon stick fall to the deck with a clatter, and didn't even notice the marines jump to alert stations outside the door. She sank to her knees, sobbing openly now. Her hands rose up to cradle, or perhaps to hide, her face. 

"Oh, gods, Gina... What am I going to do..?"

"Come here, my love.."

The voice was soothing, gentle. It was imperious, insistent. It would not be denied. Ignoring the increasingly frantic knocking on the window, the wild yet silent motions of the marines, Helena fell forwards onto her hands and inched towards the Cylon. She followed the soothing sound of her voice - she couldn't see, blinded by thick tears and her hair a military-issue shampoo-smelling curtain across her face. 

Gina let her approach, although she longed to go to Helena, meet her halfway, and hold her, for the first time in so, so long, but she forced herself to hold still. She knew that any move she made towards the Admiral would probably be enough to start the marines firing. They were already struggling with the hatch now, their movements panicky, probably terrified that the Admiral was about to be murdered by the Cylon prisoner on their watch. She prayed they'd stay calm. To get back to her people, to download, to complete her mission and get away from the humans, was all she'd ever wanted. Wasn't it? And yet now.. The thought of being ripped away from Helena, *her Helena, in this state, was all of a sudden more than she could bear. 

She opened her arms wide as Cain reached her, and the Admiral fell into them with almost reckless abandon. "I don't care," she gasped through her tears, "I don't care if you kill me. It doesn't matter anymore... Just please.. please hold me first.. Even if it is the last time.." She pushed her face into the hollow of Gina's throat. 

Gina wrapped her arms tightly around Helena. She held her as tightly as she dared, and pushed her face into her hair. 

"I couldn't, dear. Not now. I made you a promise, and I intend to keep it. With all my heart, I promise you I will never hurt you again.."

She felt Cain exhale a great gusting sigh into her neck, and her shudders abated slightly. Her desperate clutch slackened somewhat, and she nuzzled into the once-familiar comfort that she'd been missing for so very long. 

The marines got the door open at last and barrelled in, white-faced and with rifles raised. Gina raised her head and smiled at them sardonically. 

"Admiral, I hate to disturb you, but would you mind asking your gentlemen here to stand down, before one of them shoots himself in the foot?"


	3. 3

"But how, Gina? How could you do it? All those people..."

They were sitting side by side on cot. Helena had her fingers intertwined with the Cylon's, and was sitting as close to her as she could without sitting in her lap. After so long denying her feelings, she didn't seem to be able to be without some form of contact. Gina sighed. 

"We all do what we have to, sweetheart. At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do. As, I presume, did you when you encountered the civilian fleet, just after the attack.."

Cain's lips tightened at the comment. There was no real comparison between the gutting of a few scrappy civilian ships and the conscription slash stranding of their crews, and the obliteration of twelve planets, billions of innocent people, and an entire civilisation. And yet the Cylon undeniably had a point. Gina continued. 

"And yet I see now that I was wrong. *We were wrong. Really, I saw it not long after I came on board, met the crew, saw that yeah, they were flawed creations, but deep down they were decent people. They didn't deserve to die. And then I met you, and I fell in love".

She said it so simply, so matter-of-factly, such an un-human way of expressing feelings. She wasn't ashamed, and she wasn't exultant, she was, merely, stating a fact. Cain blinked. 

"You..."

"Yes. Pretty much from the first moment I saw you. And I hadn't expected it at all. You had your back to me in CIC, and you were chewing Fisk out about something or other, and then someone got your attention to introduce me. You threw your hands in the air, snarled out "What the frak is it now??" and whirled round to stare at me. I nearly had a heart attack, Helena. I nearly turned round and barrelled right off Pegasus to go and hide in a shed somewhere..."

Helena laughed, a little shakily, but it did Gina's heart good to hear it. She knew exactly who that "someone" had been. It had been Commander Belzen. Jurgen. Another victim of Helena's dubious decision-making. But she saw no reason to draw attention to his memory just now. 

"Doesn't sound much like love at first sight.."

Now it was Gina's turn to laugh. "Perhaps not. But then I saw such sadness and loss behind the toughness in your eyes, your beautiful brown eyes.."

"Hazel," Cain interjected. "My eyes are hazel. And you're starting to sound like a poem in a frakking Aphrodite card.."

Affecting outrage, Gina was nonetheless pleased to see Helena returning to something approaching a normal state of emotions. She just hoped the catharsis would help, and that the walls wouldn't go up quite as hard and as impenetrable as they had been previously. She hoped desperately that she would in some way be able to help with that. 

"Whatever. Anyway, it really was pretty much at first sight, for me. I just felt I had to get to know you better. I'd.. I'd never felt anything like that before.." She seized Helena's hand tighter, desperate to make her believe. "I wasn't pretending, or acting.., with anything to do with.. us, Helena".

Cain said nothing. She stared straight ahead at the wall, allowing her hand to be held, but not returning the grip. 

"I felt it too", she said slowly. "When I saw you that first time, it was like I'd never seen anyone more.. interesting in my entire life. You were cute, of course, in that natty little uniform..."

Gina pinched her fingers a little in mock indignation and Cain grinned. 

"But it was more than that. You just seemed to.. to *matter, somehow. And then the more we saw of each other, when I got used to having someone get close to me.." She turned to look into Gina's face. The Cylon studied her intently, her face serious but her eyes full of love. 

"I hadn't been close.. like that.. with anyone.. in so long, Gina. It was like you made me real again..." She broke off again, and looked away, barking a sardonic laugh. 

"Gods, now who's sounding like an Aphrodite card.."

Gina giggled and linked her arm through Helena's, pulling their bodies closer. Now she was the one demanding as much closeness as she was permitted, given the fragile status of their reignited association. 

"And then for you to do what you did.. to my ship, my people.. to me... I just didn't know how I was going to carry on. So I just let hate take over. It was easier that way..."

Gina felt her heart crack a little in her chest at Helena's words. She knew that, whatever else happened, for the rest of her life she would feel those cracks, every time she thought of the hurt and the pain and the deaths she had caused. 

"I held off on what I had to do for as long as I could. I knew I couldn't stop the attacks, no matter what I said, I was only one Six among billions. Saving Pegasus by not completing the retrofit would only draw out your agony. Only delay its destruction. Or that's what I kept telling myself. Maybe because..." she gulped, her eyes filling with tears, "because if Pegasus was destroyed with all the other Battlestars, you would never have known what I had done. You would be dead, but you would never hate me, and I would live with the memories of what we had for the rest of my life..." 

She turned, took Cain's hands in both of her own, kicking impatiently at the shackle on her ankle as it impeded her movement. 

"I just wanted every moment with you that I could possibly have. That's why I delayed the completion of the retrofit. Cavil was angry with me, but I didn't care. I even wrote them down, did you know that, Helena? I had a diary, of our every encounter, every lunch date, every chance meeting in the corridor, every time we... well, you get the idea. I was.. stockpiling, I guess. I told myself that it was normal, this was a perfectly reasonable reaction, that it would be okay. But it wasn't. The more I saw of you, the more I fell in love, and knew I couldn't live without you. I didn't care that you were hard on your officers, that you ran a tough ship, that you had a reputation as a ballbreaker. All I ever saw was your soft, loving side, the side that assigned me better quarters, not that I ever used them much.."

Cain snorted, smirking, and Gina eyed her, smiling hesitantly but still full of trepidation. 

"You wrote details of our... encounters, huh? Kinky, Gina, kinky..."

Gina swatted her playfully on the leg, more relieved than she could say. 

"It wasn't like that, and you know it!"

Cain grabbed at her hands, grinning.

"And what if they fall into the wrong hands, hmmm? I mean, I can't have the entire ship giggling and gawping at the sordid details of the Admiral's love life, can I?"

"Sssshh.. Stop it!"

Cain intoned dramatically, holding an imaginary book before her. 

"' Day 14. Oooh, the Admiral smiled at me today in the corridor!! I went, like, all red and giggled.. I totes hope she didn't notice!'"

Avoiding Gina's half-laughing, half-indignant hand flappings, Cain wafted the imaginary blush on her face, made googly eyes, and continued, grinning. 

"'Day 29. Wow!! A breakthrough!! The Admiral stopped by my office today, said i was doing an excellent job, and asked if I wanted to grab lunch somewhere! I can't help it, I just get like so totally melty when I'm around her! She makes me act like such a kid..."'

"Helena, I swear to god, if you don't shut up, I'll..." Gina was laughing now, having given up on stopping Cain who was clearly on a roll. Helena repositioned her imaginary diary. 

"'Day 43. Omg, so the Admiral totally just invited me to dinner!! I think I just creamed my jeans..."

Gina cracked up, which set Cain off too. For long moments, the cell was filled with cackles as they both continued to lose it. The security detail behind the door exchanged bemused glances at the sight. 

"Helena, I swear..." But she could get no more out, and descended into fits of hysteria once more. This turned into a fit of hiccups, which set Cain off again, and soon they were both gasping for breath. 

"Enough!! Please..." Gina begged, when finally she could grab enough breath to speak. Grinning, Cain grabbed both of her hands and pulled her close, looking deeply into her face. 

"Oh, Gina. Gina Inviere. Is that even really your name?"

"It is now". Gina replied simply, moving to hold Helena by the elbows. She didn't dare move any closer. She still had no idea how this was going to play out. 

"Well, Gina Inviere, I, love, you. So, where the hell do we go from here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recently re-watched Xena and realised that in the previous chapter I've shamefully stolen the nose-scratching thing..!! Obviously buried deep in the subconscious from the teenage years of awakening.. ha.


	4. 4

The interrogations stopped with immediate effect. Shaw didn't seem surprised when Cain gave her the new orders - actually, she seemed relieved more than anything else. She nodded abruptly, neatly, as with everything she did. 

"Understood, sir. Sir.. may I ask.. what will happen to the Cylon now? As, obviously, we can't space her..."

"My problem, Lieutenant". Cain answered crisply. She thought of Gina's bruises, and cringed inside. "Your involvement, appreciated though it is, is over. Understood?"

"Understood, sir".

Saluting smartly, the young Lieutenant waited to be dismissed. She didn't understand what was going on, and, to be quite frank, she didn't really care. She was just relieved to be, well, *relieved of the job of interrogating the prisoner. The experience had disconcerted her - she had consistently felt intense shame at the actions required of her - the slaps, the needles, the water buckets, the electrical devices... None of it gave her any pleasure, and even though the prisoner was a war criminal, and a Cylon, and a spy, she still felt her genuine pain and her heart cried out with every blow she was forced to land. No, she wasn't sorry to see an end to this. But she *was intrigued as to what was going on behind the scenes... Rumour had it that the Admiral didn't even bother with security precautions any more, whenever she visited the prisoner, which she did with intriguing frequency. Just strolled right in, and sat next to her.. *touching her...

No, Shaw didn't understand. But she trusted her Admiral. Nigh on worshipped her, in fact. So, she'd hold her council, and she'd silence the doubters, as best she could. 

"Very good, Lieutenant". Cain held her eye for longer than usual, seeming to be trying to convey some kind of message.. Shaw grappled with it for long moments and finally thought she'd deciphered whatever the Admiral was trying to say to her. *Thank you. What the Admiral was saying to her was *thank you. 

***

"You know they'll never accept this, right? The crew?"

Gina was in civilian clothes for the first time in months. She smoothed the material, unused to anything other than the nasty feel of synthetic-blend Colonial Fleet detention wear. This cotton shirt was a delight. She smiled, despite her worries. 

Cain grinned at her. "I don't care. This is my ship. They can frakking lump it".

Gina laughed. "There speaks the Admiral..."

Cain squeezed her hand. "Look, Gina. We both know you'll never be safe on another fleet ship. There are too many angry people out there.. people who are too angry to care about the fact that the momentary gratification of killing you.." She stopped, shook the hand she held lightly, and shuddered. "Too angry to care that that would only mean you downloading back onto a basestar. Unless..." Once again she stopped, this time looking up anxiously to catch Gina's eye. "Unless... Gods, Gina, I never even asked you!! I just assumed.... I mean... What I'm trying to say is... y'know.. downloading.. Unless that's actually what you w...."

"Helena!" Gina finally cut through her babble, having tried unsuccessfully to interject for several moments. "Helena, would you please, just, for frak's sake, shut up for just one second!!"

Cain opened her mouth, and then shut it again. She thought of Jurgen, and, for the first time since that fateful, horrible, infinitely-regretted moment of madness, she thought of him with love, gratitude and remembrance, rather than regret, and self-recrimination, and shame. Here in front of her was the only other person in the history of the Pegasus who'd ever got away with challenging her, in particular, with telling her, specifically, to shut up. She couldn't help herself from breaking into a smile. 

Gina looked at her oddly, but continued. "I wish you'd just get it through your thick Colonial skull that I don't have any *intention of dying, or downloading, frakking well *anywhere! I am *not leaving you! Do you understand me??"

Cain looked at the indignant, no, furious woman before her. Gina looked so much better now - the improved diet probably had something to do with it, but it was more than that. She had a glow about her, almost an aura... Gods, it was such a cliche, but frak.. her skin really did seem to be glowing. Her wounds were fading but, in contrast, was the ever-increasing fierce look in her eye. Cain continued to look at her, goofy, foolish ever-widening grin hopelessly stuck on her face. 

"What??"

"Oh, nothing. Except... you skinjobs are cute when you get your circuits in a twist..."

"Oh you..." 

Laughing, Helena allowed Gina to push her by the shoulders to lie flat on her back on the bed. She allowed the Cylon to pin her by both wrists, and waited until their faces were both close together. 

"I guess.. I guess that's not what you want, then..."

"Do you even have to frakking ask??"

Helena laughed again at the human phrase. 

"I assume, not. So, Gina Inviere..."

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

"Because it's your name. Now. Now it's time for *you to shut up. So. It's not safe for you to be on any of the fleet ships. It's not right for you to be in the brig any longer. So I guess... the only safe place for you for now is my quarters. Yes?"

Gina stilled, allowing Cain to wriggle free from her grasp. She sat, stunned momentarily, at this fresh example of the humans' ability to surprise, at their unexpected capacity for mercy and forgiveness. Cain sat up, pushed the hair from her eyes. 

"So, what do you say? Think you can put up with me, just for a little while?" Her eyes danced as she looked at Gina. 

The Cylon swallowed. "Only for a little while?"

"Well, I want you here all the time..." Cain growled playfully, reaching for Gina, pushing her on to her back in turn. Gina giggled, keeping her superior Cylon strength in check, enjoying the feeling of the Admiral pinning her to the bed, the feel of her tightly-muscled body close-pressed against her own, her breath, laced not unpleasantly with coffee, wisping intermittently against her own grinning face. 

"I love you, too". The Cylon told her simply, smiling upwards into her face with all the easy love in the world. Like a child smiling upwards, just before it drifts off into slumber, never doubting that the exhausted parent lying besides it has anything better to do other than to be present until the child falls asleep. In the light of that easy love, Helena somehow found it so damn easy not to doubt, to distrust, but just to love back. 

Helena thought for a moment, then let her instincts take over, and stopped thinking at all. She simply lowered herself, slowly, until she was pressed, full-body, against Gina. She felt that frak it, whatever it meant, whatever it cost, she had never in all her life been this close to another being, and if it was a Cylon, then frak it all, what did it matter anyway. She bent her head. 

Gina's lips found hers, softly, so, so softly. Gina seemed to know that this time, the first after so very long, after so much that had happened, she needed her to go slow. She kissed her, long and slow and deep. Gina on the bottom, but kissing her so deep and handling this moment so well. Oh, gods... Helena let herself sink into the feeling and to think, just to allow herself to think, just for one moment, that everything might just turn out to be alright. 

 

*** Epilogue ***

 

"Helena.. There's something you need to know.."

Cain's eyes narrowed, her military instincts momentarily taking over. "What is it?"

"There's something following the Fleet. Something you need to know about, and something I think we need to do something about, if ever we're going to get off this everlasting cosmic frakking merry go round. It's called a Resurrection Ship."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah.. vaguely sickened myself with the niceness of this one.. must write something dark and horrible immediately.. ha.


End file.
